Friday 5 March 2010

Flossie the Hamburgler


So, there are a few changes to Recipe Girl. It's no longer Recipe Girl, for starters, but Recipe Rifle. It's all my sister's fault (that is her in the picture above). My sister is called Florence and she is 21 and she is the only computer nerd I know who wears Marc Jacobs. I bought her a pair of Louboutins for her 21st birthday and I now really regret it. I should have got her a Beano and a tube of Pringles and kept the shoes for myself.

She said to me the other day in the brutal, but matter-of-fact way she has: "Your blog is really lame. You need more photos and a search button and a sitemeter." She gave me a bored look as she casually re-directed $0.001 off the paycheque of every United States citizen with a social security number into her Barclays student current account. Then she popped another brownie into her mouth and said "and the name is just stupid. You're nearly 30. Just call it Recipe Rifle. I mean, that's a crap name too, but better than Recipe GIRL." She looked me up and down in that judgmental way that thin people or French people do. I mean, she's not French, but you get my meaning. She is thin, though. For such a giant asshole, she is very thin indeed.

So there we are - it's a bit different. I must say, it's spooky to be able to see where all my differnt visitors are coming from. Or actually, maybe it's nice. It means you are real, not just figments of my imagination.

Florence has a hamburger recipe that she wants to share with you all, which is good timing because I wanted to do something - now barbeque weather isn't out of the realms of imaginations - on burgers. So when she gets off her fat lazy student butthole and passes it on to me, it will, verily, be yours, too.

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