Wednesday, 2 February 2011

You, my crazy readers

Last night I made a St Clements pudding, which is a steamed sponge thing involving clementines and it didn't really work out - although don't think for one second that I am not eating some right now at my desk at 0925.

Anyway, I found myself this morning with nothing to write about. I didn't help that I had the major hormonal preggy sweats all night and had bad dreams about being chased by Jamie Redknapp (why didn't I just stop and ask him what he wanted? And then ask him out ON A DATE? Although I wouldn't do that because I think Louise Redknapp looks like a really nice person.)

But then I looked at the comments that had come in overnight - a record-breaking NINE - and was tickled by all of them, which were unusually bonkers, as well as being unusually plentiful but was extra-specially amused and charmed by this mad-but-endearing comment below.

Dear Esther, for no reason at all I've decided to take a closer look at your home page photo- the one of you holding saucepan (rather menacingly). Questions: is that a mirror splashback above stove? Isn't it crazy to keep clean? Why would one have mirror at that height and there? Is it a Cath Kidston reflected, near the Roberts radio? In addition to being expensively teethed and large bosomed, are you also very tall? Your island work-height appears low in relation to your hips, so presumably, you are either 1. very tall, 2. average in height but long-torsoed, 4.island is very low, or cook in Louboutins ala Nigella? I have a tiny kitchen and am envious of your light & spacious kitchen, that you did not have to stick units above worktop; I'm long in body so find most workheights too low for me (like to stack chopping boards) and also envious of big boobs :) I would like sone Invisalignbay some point in the future. I am feeling very nosy today I don't know why! Love LS xx

And so because I've not got much else to do or say, I thought I'd answer this in full, in a post.

1 Yes, that is a mirror splashback. It's actually not crazy to keep clean - it rarely gets dirty unless you cook something very greasy and spitty and then it's just a question of deploying the Windolene. It also helps that I have a cleaner

2 The mirror is that height and there so that you have a nice view of the garden while you are bent, barefoot and pregnant over the stove cooking your husband's dinner. Also, when you live with someone as naughty and sneaky as my husband, it's handy to have eyes in the back of your head. This mirror is a way of achieving this without a complicated operation.

3 That is indeed an item of Cath Kidston reflected near the radio, but it's not mine, it belongs to my sister, who is behind the camera.

4 I am not tall and I do not cook in Louboutins. I don't think Nigella does either, judging by how often she's seen in her FitFlops.  I am exactly five feet six and one half inches. It's my sister who is tall and the angle from which she took the photo makes the island look lower than it is. The island is exactly 90cm, or 35 and one half inches off the ground. It comes up to about 2 inches below my belly button. It is not unusually low. But, as it happens, I do have quite a long torso.

Yes my kitchen is pretty nice. There are no cupboards because I insisted on building a larder on the side of the kitchen, which stores all foodstuff and lots of odds and ends. I actually redesigned and built the kitchen as a kind of devotional act to my husband; when we started going out he was the cook and I was a mere bystander.  But then when it was finished I thought it was too nice and too lifestyle for him to do any cooking in it and quickly appropriated it for myself.

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